Meeting Michael Monroe

Back in December I got an e-mail from Peter Beamish, director of The Secret Behind the Secret (I’m on his mailing list). He sends announcements of new videos he’s released, etc. Either that, or I was looking at Peter’s site,, I can’t remember which. Regardless, somehow I stumbled upon this video of musician Michael Monroe. He’s got a lot of fans, but I don’t get out much, so I wasn’t familiar with him. His song moved me so much I posted the video on my blog.  

Three months later I’m at dinner, on a cruise ship on the Caribbean with my new friend Piya, and who should sit down at our table? Michael and his beautiful wife Deb.


Of course Deb claimed we sat at their table, since it had been the one they’d sat at every night of the cruise thus far!

Aren’t they a gorgeous couple? Deb and I were on the same side of the table and had a really nice conversation. She is a life coach, specializing in helping performers achieve their goals. She gave me some great personal advice I plan on implementing. We talked about my dream of supporting our family financially and how I’ve been writing for a while now, but not really making any money at it. She said I need to start charging for something. Yes, for my writing, but for the time being, for anything. Even if it is charging Todd money for housework, and even if the money gets folded right back into our household. Just to get the money energy moving in me. Just to affirm the value of my services. Interesting notion, aye?  

After dinner, Piya went for a hot stone massage, and Deb and Michael invited me along with them to a cocktail party. There were many people we knew there, and new ones to meet! I had a lovely time.

After that, I ran into them everywhere!



For more info on Michael’s beautiful and inspiring music go here.

For info on Deb’s coaching services, e-mail

Life is good.

“Everything is as it should be.”


My Abraham-Hicks Hot Seat Experience, Part Two

For Part I, click here.

Confusion came over me as I made my way in slow motion to the steps. Walking across the stage toward the chair, I looked back at Todd in the audience and raised my eyebrows as if to say, Can you believe this? He sat relaxed, leaning back, arms folded.  He raised his brows and smiled a calm, centered, loving smile. Yes, he could believe it. I felt buoyed. Took a breath. 

Sitting down in the chair, I looked up at Esther, Abraham coming through her, and I noticed the eyes. I’d seen eyes like that before. On a retreat in the Colorado mountains, I attended a sacred Buddhist ceremony and the spiritual leader had eyes like that. Not in the day to day, but during the ritual. Glassy. Trance-like. Sparkly. Is this what enlightenment looks like?

When Esther/Abraham looked at me and nodded, I immediately wanted to cower. I felt like she/they (from here on out in referring to Abraham I will use the plural “they” since Abraham is said to be a conglomerate, not a single entity), could read my mind, and as soon as I wondered that, every inappropriate thing I could possibly think of flooded through me. A feeling of self-repulsion coursed through my body, rendering me unable to formulate what I wanted to say. 

I blurted out something about having a vague sense of Riley’s soul wanting to be here, and of her having a part in choosing to be “how she is.” 

Abraham asked, almost sarcastically,

“And how is that?”     

I gulped. Felt like I might be in trouble.

The eyes now reminded me of the swirly spirals cartoon characters always get when they’re “hypnotized,” then I wondered if Abraham knew I was thinking that, and if they thought I was disrespectful. The random thoughts never stopped the whole time I was in the seat(about twenty minutes). Some of my thoughts were even sexual in nature which freaked me out. It was crazy. But at some point I “got it” that even if they could read my mind(which I’m still unclear about), they weren’t going to embarrass me. They weren’t going to punish me. At some point I concluded I was safe, and felt absolutely accepted, despite the thoughts zipping through my head. Back to Riley.    

“She’s so sensitive,” I said. “She can barely tolerate being here.”     

Abraham told me Riley made a deliberate decision to be here, and her sensitivity is her gift. They said, she is feeling the out of control overwhelmment with being compared with a lot of other people who she didn’t come forth to run a race with. They said there are souls coming forth in great numbers right now who are choosing to be “un-conformable,” because joy isn’t the norm in those types of experiences. (Side note, I heard a statistic the other day stating 80% of  U.S. workers are unhappy in their jobs). Societies are trying to force “sameness” and these energies coming forth are determined not to be the same.   

They said Riley is operating at a very high vibration. She feels things profoundly. I think about how when she’s stoked, her body shakes and her joy expresses itself in an arm tic. She experiences joy so acutely her physical body can’t contain it. They also said, she is intolerant of contradicted energy. She knows when she’s off kilter better than almost anyone. The contrast between Who She Really Is and what she is feeling in the moment is what makes her scream.

“Think about an all day every day sort of comparative experience where I don’t feel that I’m measuring up, that I’m not doing enough, I’m not good enough or I should be doing something differently. None of it is true, and the Source within her knows none of that is true, but when she lets those outside of her convince her that it is true, the resulting feeling is that knot in her stomach that is described as fear, but all it is, is discordant vibration, because she is not allowing herself to be Who She Really Is. She went to a lot of trouble to be born with a different intention. It is not that she can’t have a lovely life experience. It’s not that she’ll be the odd one out. It’s that she didn’t come to jump through the hoops in the way everybody else is jumping through the hoops. She came to let her life cause her to ask for things that she certainly has the ability to achieve and when she does she’ll be joyful. We would do everything in our power to take the comparison between what everyone else is doing out of the equation for her, and for you, and for everyone else. We would not be constantly comparing ourself against the results anyone else is getting because their results have nothing to do with you.

If she were left to her own devices she would find her way to joy, but most parents would then ask, Yes, but will she be normal? And we have to say, Who gets to decide what normal is?

The normalcy you are seeking is alignment with Source and we want to tell you some things that are normal, confidence is normal. Clarity is normal. Joy is normal.”

 So how do we help her when she’s in those moments of fear? I asked.

Abraham said talking to her about fear while she’s in the thick of the fear isn’t helpful because she can’t hear you then. And if you try, you’ll most likely end up sinking right down with her.

They said to watch for moments of clarity. When she is feeling triumphant, point it out. When she is joyful point it out. This is who you are Riley. This is you.

The next thing they said made me weep. Some of the following is directly quoted, some is paraphrased for brevity.

Imagine being her, and you are afraid, and you look over and see parents looking at you and KNOWING your well-being, because they’ve practiced knowing Who You Really Are. They have worked at it (sometimes moment by fearful moment), but they have visualized it, they see it. What would it feel like, in a moment of fear to look in a loving parent’s eyes and see their absolute certainty about your well-being?  

Compare that to being in a state of fear, and looking into your loving parent’s eyes, and seeing your own fear reflected back to you? 

Now add to that all the people clamoring around trying to help her be a whole person when she already is one.

She’s come with a big message, and that message is I’M NOT BROKEN, LET ME BE!

Someone who knows they are not broken expands into more and more and more! Someone who is convinced they are broken because of the comparitive world they live in gets more afraid as they are trained into thoughts that defy Who They Really Are.

Stand in a place of security about your daughter. You cannot teach security from a place of insecurity. You cannot teach well-being from a place of fear.

She’s come forth to teach you the power of sensitivity, and when you sat down here, you spoke of sensitivity as if it were a deficit. As if it was something that is wrong with someone, and yet here you are, having the same fearful emotions.

You have to clean up your own vibration. Not for your daughter, but for you, and when you do, you will help your daughter.

That’s what she is here to teach you. 

 To be continued:

My Journey to the Abraham-Hicks Hot Seat

When Seth was just a few months old, an acquaintance asked me if he was named after “Seth,” of the Seth books. I had no idea what she was talking about, but I looked into it, and the first Seth book I read was Seth Speaks. A woman named Jane Roberts, from Elmira NY, very near my hometown, had an ability to “channel” a being named Seth, and her husband wrote down every word of those sessions. At first, the material scared me.  I’d read a little. Feel a tad freaked out, and put it down. Channeled stuff? Come on. Give me a break. Then again, I had read A Course in Miracles. That was otherworldly too, and it was so beautiful.
I kept going back to the Seth books, and every time I did, I felt such peace. Such oneness. The message in those books is one of deep love, and soon I didn’t care who wrote it. You see. I’ve had so many questions my entire life. The Seth books had so many answers! 
To me, the Abraham-Hicks material is very much the next progression of the Seth stuff. A woman named Esther Hicks makes contact with a group which calls itself Abraham. Abraham is neither male nor female. It is pure positive energy. It is a teacher. It never asks for money. It never requires you to sign up for anything. No tithing. There are books and CD’s to buy if you wish, workshops to attend, but the info is available for free on line to anyone who wants it.  It isn’t a religion. It isn’t a cult. They don’t advertise. They rely on Law of Attraction to distribute the information to those who are seeking it. They never prosthelytize. Their last several books have become best sellers in the self-help genre. Greedy producers skimmed the top off of Abraham’s teachings to make the hit film The Secret. They also left out the deep spiritual elements Abraham speaks of. But whatever. Those who are wanting it will find it.
So, the Alaskan cruise we went on in July of 2008? It was an Abraham-Hicks cruise. You’ve got a few days to do all your sightseeing while at port, and on the sailing days there are Abraham workshops. A couple of hours in the morning, and again in the afternoon. Abraham is called in and the audience is allowed to ask questions. They say no question is off limits. I was thrilled to be there, and I had a million questions(mostly about Riley and autism and why!), but having endured the disappointment of raising my hand to no avail at a previous day-long seminar I’d attended, I had made up my mind I wasn’t going to try. I admit I had a teensy bit of doubt. Just a teensy one. What if all these people with their questions are planted in the audience? I pushed that fear aside and decided to just enjoy the day and learn from whatever I heard. Afterall, the message is the same no matter the situation. I was there with my sweet husband. We were on our first real vacation as a family. All was well.
During the first break in between sessions, Todd went to check in on the kids in the childcare, and I went back to our cabin. I think I was going to grab a sweater or something. It was the first day of the cruise. I had just ten minutes. For some reason, I sat down and turned off the light. I found myself in the pitch black, going back to a meditation I used to do when Riley was three and tantruming, where you rise above the battlefield. I floated through space and time with her, looking in her eyes, holding her hands, pure love back and forth between us. In the past, I’d used this meditation as a tool. A way to not throttle her, but this time it just came to me and I stayed with it and enjoyed it. I wasn’t there out of escaping a crises. At the very last moment before I opened my eyes, I heard myself say, “Riley, if there is something you need Mommy to know, I’ll raise my hand.” 
I walked back into the auditorium, and found my seat. Todd came gliding in, sat down next to me. He smiled, the kids were fine. Esther Hicks came out, got into Abraham mode, walked right to the edge of the stage and as my hand went up, along with hundreds of others, she pointed at me and said, “You’re the one.”
To be continued:  
Click here for part II

Be Kind.To You.

“The surest way to disconnect from Who You Really Are is to find a reason, any reason to criticize yourself. It’s almost as bad to criticize others, but the very worst thing you can do is criticize you, because it flies in the face of the most powerful Love that Source flows.”


He thinks a little pre-paving might be in order…

“Time to start homework!” I say to the kids. 

Riley sucks in her breath, anticipating disaster before she even begins.

Seth leans over to me and whispers, “I think Riley needs to do some ‘Om’ work  before she starts her homework.” He puts his thumbs to his middle fingers to form circles and feigns an exaggerated peaceful smile.

We do almost daily meditation practice as a family but never that way. It made me laugh and it started out the homework segment on the right foot.

Focus Wheels

The last two weeks were tough. Riley could not shake the feeling of being behind, after missing ten days of school to go get her service dog. One of the ways we were able to move forward was by using the focus wheel exercise depicted in the best selling Abraham-Hicks book, The Vortex.

I’ve posted about focus wheels in the past, but here is the jist. You take whatever bad feeling you are having and come up with its opposite, and put that in the middle of a circle. Riley was feeling behind, and worried, so in the middle of her circle we put the opposite of that, “feeling like things are happening how and when they are supposed to/having faith.”  That’s what we were going for.

Then we changed the subject and spent some time focusing on Tanya, her cat. Thinking about Tanya makes Riley feel peaceful and calm. We think about Tanya’s colorful paws. Her soft patchwork calico fur. Her purr. Her eyes. Her face. When Riley is feeling calmer, we start working on the focus wheel.  We fill it in with statements that support “feeling like things are happening how and when they are supposed to/having faith.”

This is an interactive exercise. I don’t do it for Riley. We discuss things and kick them around. She decides what goes in the slots. Excuse my messy writing, but I think you can read it. 

When we are done with a focus wheel, the air in the room is different. It changes things.

Here is a focus wheel I did with Seth, who is afraid to be upstairs by himself. He thought about Legos to get in a good energy focus wheel place. Again, he came up with the answers for the slots. It didn’t cure him of his fear, but it got him through a recent night, when he was feeling particularly fearful about going to bed.

I’ve used the focus wheel exercise many times myself, and find it to be a useful tool. Feeling better, a little bit at a time. That’s the idea. Like Riley says in her wheel above, I know I can do anything if I start in small increments.

No Contrast No Expansion

Contrast = Expansion

Contrast = Expansion

Contrast = Expansion

When I remind myself of this, I feel better. When I can look at any problem, anything getting under my skin, and imagine it as the cause of my further expansion, it isn’t as hard to take. This causes me to relax a little around the problem. When I relax a little around the problem, solutions and completely different opportunities sprout up into focus.

Musn’t hate the contrast.

Thank it, and keep stepping.

Teaching Each Other Who We Are

Every traffic light was red. We got to martial arts late.

Riley maintained calm. She walked in. Ran to the bathroom to wash her hands(she’d had a snack in the car), then joined the class in progress. This was big, as being late is a trigger for her.

It was a substitute teacher. He does things differently. He is a wonderful person, but he does things differently.

Riley maintained calm.

She did 100 sit ups for the first time ever! No one holding her feet. 

But he does things differently.

Three fourths of the way into class, she lost it. He had the kids do a drill, and it got kind of loud, and chaotic and she ran screaming from the room and into the teacher’s office. Her blood curdling screams went on and on. I followed her and closed the door. Usually if she’s that far gone, it’s all over.

She threw herself on the office sofa, still screaming. Sitting down I pulled her close and held her tight.

This time I didn’t tell her,

“Stop screaming.”

I didn’t tell her,

“You are disrupting the class.”

I didn’t tell her,

“You need to get it together.”

I didn’t put my hand over her mouth as I’ve been prone to do in public places.

This time I said,

“Mr. S. does things differently.” My sentence hung in the air a while.

She sucked in her breath and the screams became whimpers.

I said, “It can be confusing sometimes with a different teacher.”

Riley turned to me and buried her head into my neck.

Stroking her arm, I began to speak in my softest whisper, what we’ve practiced in mediation. 

“Riley. There is a part of you that is bigger than this physical body sitting here on the couch with me. This larger part of you is not separate from you, but part of you. It is always there. Part of you came here, in this body, to help expand All That Is. You, and everyone you meet, are extentions of God. You are a very important person! Your Higher Self is so grateful to you for being here. You are doing such good work. Your Higher Self knows how strong and brave you are. Your Higher Self, this part of you, is always calm. Always knows what to do. You can always turn to It. It is pure Love. It is where you came from, and where you will return to. It is always with you, always loving you, always there to show you the way.”   

We sat in silence for a while. I felt her body slowly let go of the tension. Then she was ready.

She returned to class and finished it successfully.

My daughter and me. 

Teaching each other who we are.

No really, you shouldn’t have!

I’ve started and deleted several blog posts lately. In the middle of writing, I’ve looked at my own words and asked, “What is your intention here?”

I am a staunch believer in Law of Attraction. What you focus on gets bigger. Sometimes focusing on what I don’t want; that annoying situation or person right in front of my face, is sooo very tempting.

I could be really witty about it. Everyone would agree with me. It’d make a great story.

But is this what you want more of in your life? I ask myself.



It isn’t.

No matter what situation I’m presented with, there is another way of looking at it. Many ways of looking at it. Those who challenge us, cause us the most growth.

Thank you situation/person for the expansion! You shouldn’t have!  

I don’t know how it is all unfolding, but I do know when you focus on what you do want, and spend less time worrying about what you don’t, things have a way of working out. 

They really do.

Now, what is it I do want….? Let’s see. Let’s see. Ah, yes.  

Pardon me, while I pivot in that direction.

Segment Intending

There is a process in the book Ask and it is Given called Segment Intending. Basically it consists of breaking your day up into segments and setting intentions as you go about your business.

Getting in the shower is a segment. Drying off and stepping into the bedroom to get dressed is a segment. Herding the children through getting dressed/hair brushing/face washing is a segment.

It takes practice. I look forward to the day I will go more than an hour or two remembering to segment intend.

Homework is often a landmine in our house. Riley’s anxiety runs high, and she’s already tired. This evening, I remembered to set my intention as we transitioned into the homework segment.

I am going to be happy, no matter what.

Without even thinking, I said, “If you two get through homework, with no fussing, I will do a crazy chicken dance for you.”

They flew to their respective stations. His in the dining room, hers in the kitchen.

As they got to work, I said from the other room, “I sure hope at least one of you fusses, because I do not want to do a crazy chicken dance! That would be so embarrassing.”

They dug in, with delighted expressions on their faces.

At one point, Riley started to ramp up.

“Riley? Are you about to fuss? I sure hope so!”

She ramped it back down.

We went over Seth’s spelling words and I begged him to fuss just a little. He would not.

Next we reviewed for Riley’s science test.

“One little fuss? Please?”

She wasn’t budging.

When they finished everything, I did my dance.

The craziest chicken dance you can imagine, and then something really embarrassing happened.

I laid an egg.

You see, as they were finishing up, I actually took an egg out of the fridge, and put it in the back of my undies. I danced ’til it fell out the bottom of my shorts, dropping on the kitchen floor and cracking.

The crowd went wild.

intended to be happy.

We had a wonderful evening.


*No chickens were harmed in the writing of this blog post.