Before the Body

This meditation has been kicking around in my mind lately. I wrote about it back in 2008 on my old blog, and I repost it here, with love.
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I want to tell you about a meditation I sometimes do. It is a modified version of something I read in one of Rachel Naomi Remen’s books (Kitchen Table Wisdom, I believe). She was working with terminally ill patients and using this to help with their fear.  She is a physician who endured Crohn’s Disease, and has done much work to bridge the gap between our health care system and the spiritual health of our health care workers, particularly physicians.
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You start where you are and go back chronologically in age.
I see myself now, then go backward in time.
To Virginia, to Maryland.
Seth is born.
To Illinois.
To Binghamton.
Riley is born.
Todd.
I envision what I looked like. What I felt like, at each stage.
At 27.
24.
When I lived in the DC area.
21. Fresh out of college. What did I look like? How did I feel?
High school.
Jr. High.
Elementary.
4 years.
2 years.
Newborn.
I picture myself as a fetus.
Floating.
20 weeks.
8 weeks.
6 weeks. An embyro.
A tadpole.
A cluster of cells.
16 cells.
Eight.
Four.
Two.
One.
It is here I always hesitate, hovering for a while, unsure.
The question comes, “….and before that?”
Finally, the egg splits.
I’m still here.
The freedom.
The exhilaration.
The peace.
The vastness.
I’m still here.
Before the egg.
Before the body.
I am.
I AM.
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5 Responses to Before the Body

  1. Carrie Link says:

    Just as beautiful and powerful as it was back then.

    Love.

  2. Wow. That’s amazing. I love it.

    I have missed you, am grateful, always, for your words.

  3. kario says:

    Thank you for re-posting this. I had forgotten about it and as I get older, I am certain it is something that will speak volumes to me as I do it. What a gift!

  4. Dee Ready says:

    Dear Michelle, this is a powerful meditation. I read “Kitchen Table Window” many years ago, but I didn’t respond at the time to this meditation and have no memory of it. So I thank you for introducing me to it as I plan to use it tomorrow as I meditate. You are truly a seeker. You are the Am of Oneness. Peace.

  5. Nina says:

    What a cool idea to think these kinds of thoughts–a poem, really–as a sort of meditation. Thanks for sharing the idea.