Before the Body

This meditation has been kicking around in my mind lately. I wrote about it back in 2008 on my old blog, and I repost it here, with love.
I want to tell you about a meditation I sometimes do. It is a modified version of something I read in one of Rachel Naomi Remen’s books (Kitchen Table Wisdom, I believe). She was working with terminally ill patients and using this to help with their fear.  She is a physician who endured Crohn’s Disease, and has done much work to bridge the gap between our health care system and the spiritual health of our health care workers, particularly physicians.
You start where you are and go back chronologically in age.
I see myself now, then go backward in time.
To Virginia, to Maryland.
Seth is born.
To Illinois.
To Binghamton.
Riley is born.
I envision what I looked like. What I felt like, at each stage.
At 27.
When I lived in the DC area.
21. Fresh out of college. What did I look like? How did I feel?
High school.
Jr. High.
4 years.
2 years.
I picture myself as a fetus.
20 weeks.
8 weeks.
6 weeks. An embyro.
A tadpole.
A cluster of cells.
16 cells.
It is here I always hesitate, hovering for a while, unsure.
The question comes, “….and before that?”
Finally, the egg splits.
I’m still here.
The freedom.
The exhilaration.
The peace.
The vastness.
I’m still here.
Before the egg.
Before the body.
I am.
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5 Responses to Before the Body

  1. Carrie Link says:

    Just as beautiful and powerful as it was back then.


  2. Wow. That’s amazing. I love it.

    I have missed you, am grateful, always, for your words.

  3. kario says:

    Thank you for re-posting this. I had forgotten about it and as I get older, I am certain it is something that will speak volumes to me as I do it. What a gift!

  4. Dee Ready says:

    Dear Michelle, this is a powerful meditation. I read “Kitchen Table Window” many years ago, but I didn’t respond at the time to this meditation and have no memory of it. So I thank you for introducing me to it as I plan to use it tomorrow as I meditate. You are truly a seeker. You are the Am of Oneness. Peace.

  5. Nina says:

    What a cool idea to think these kinds of thoughts–a poem, really–as a sort of meditation. Thanks for sharing the idea.