I was instructed to stay in the bedroom while they prepared their “surprise.” I did a meditation and focused on each of my kids. What they were like as babies. Riley so very needy, huge desperate eyes, watching me like a hawk, feeding constantly to soothe herself, spitting up after every nursing session because she was not hungry to begin with. The sweetness of her essence, underneath all that anxiety. It was there. She was so, so sweet. So smart.
She was all cheeks and thighs and eyes. Todd and I would just hang out and watch her, stare at her, and marvel at her mere existence. We were, have been, still are, in love with this girl. She’s grown 3/4 of an inch in the last three months. Oh, what she has taught us. Oh, how lucky we are to be her parents.
Then there is Seth. He came into the world with a gentle cry. His daddy held him, and with a quiver in his voice kept repeating, “Hi Buddy. Hi Buddy.”
What would I ever do without Seth? He is the yin to his sister’s yang. He is a deep, thoughtful boy. He is kind. He is good. He is…dare I say it…cool. I just love watching him walk. His little frame with the loose “silky” nylon running pants. He will not do any clothing that is uncomfortable. His loose shirts (no buttons). And of course his hats. My sister has given him the title of “Fedorable.” When he was a baby I learned infant massage and the way he used to stare into my eyes as I rubbed his pudgy little legs…it was as if he were “in love.” I was in love right back. Still am.
How is it possible for each mom to get the very best kids? ‘Cause seriously….mine are!
As a little girl I wished for animals. Animals that would not get killed on the busy road we lived on. Animals we would get to keep. Check that. Of course these animals are for the children.
Today I honor my mother and my grandmother. Each had the task of mothering, under extremely challenging circumstances. Both relied on a power bigger then themselves to carry them through.
I could never be the mother I strive to be without this guy.
If I am at all a good mother it is because of him, and his unconditional love and unwavering support. I don’t know how people who aren’t married to Todd do it. But he’s mine, all mine and you can’t have him!
He took the photo below this morning, just after my shower, just after my chocolate croissant.
It is a gorgeous day. I’m sitting here on our balcony, typing away, stopping once in a while to glance at the trees. The branches sway in a gentle breeze. Todd has to go to work soon. Later the kids will come with me to chorus. They’ll play their DSis and not be a bit of trouble.
My heart is wide open. I feel so appreciative.
Happy Mothers Day.