Our Canadian doctor of Chinese medicine recommended we get some supplements (which for this law or that, she can’t ship) from a local doctor whom she recommended. So we went to the local doctor, and she said she would handle Riley’s situation differently, with different supplements, and she explained why. So we were put in this awful position of having to choose whose ideas to go with. And since Riley’s anxiety has been out of control, and it would make sense to have someone local to go to, we went with the local doctor. Which felt like betraying our Canadian doctor whom I love so much.
I was so confused and torn.
The local doctor wants us to go wheat free/dairy free again. I explained we’d already done this for a year and a half, with no gains, but she said given Riley’s propensity for constipation if she misses even two doses of magnesium, she does not believe her gut is healed. She thinks with the right combinations of healing supplements, and a GF/CF diet, we might have better results, and also reduce Riley’s anxiety.
Since Seth has issues as well, we will be doing the diet as a family.
So I have been tearing up the kitchen again and feeling utterly overwhelmed. Due to our kids’ health issues we already eat really, really well. No high fructose corn syrup. No chemicals. No preservatives or food dyes. Almost 100% organic.
The GF/CF diet is much easier now than it was even five years ago. So much more is avaiable in the stores and on-line in terms of ideas and recipies and support.
My kids really didn’t bat an eye when we told them. They don’t balk at the special diets at all. Granted it’s because I bust my tail to provide yummy alternatives to anything they could possibly want.
But I’ve been sooo very overwhelmed.
Part of it is the extent of Riley’s anxiety lately. I am worn out. I seriously feel PTSD from clay and cello classes and Girls On the Run and the now abandoned martial arts this season. She screams like Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween, over the most trivial seeming things. Todd and I are limping along, coming up enough to gulp a breath of air before going under again. We watched the movie Horse Boy the other night (I’ll blog more about that beautiful film later) and the term “emotional incontinence” came up. It fits her. It really does. There is no filter.
So it’s been stressful, but really? If it was just us I wouldn’t be so overwhelmed about the diet. Why am I freaking out?
I’ve spent some time with this question, and basically it’s the perceived judgements from others. As if we’re doing this to be difficult. Or grasping at futile interventions. Or making a big deal out of nothing.
I’ve seen the eye rolls.
I smell the disapproval.
And you know what?
I don’t get it. How you could judge parents for trying to help their children, by whatever means. Especially through something as innocuous as dietary changes and healthy eating?
That is screwed up.
So another opportunity presents itself for me to heal, and put more emotional distance between me and those who do not support us as we do our very best to parent these beautiful kiddos.
Parents of kids on the spectrum need support. Period.
Let freedom ring.