Our Home is Not in Dying Order

In the rush of preparing to leave for a few days, to visit family for the holidays, I look around. The house is a mess. I hate leaving it like this. I hate, hate, hate it. I’m not the world’s best housekeeper anyway, but with all the holiday prep, and packing, and on and on, the dust bunnies have become overpopulated.

As Todd loads the car, I fret about. Wiping off the counter. Attempting to get a spot of the kitchen floor. Wiping the bathroom sink. The tub is too far gone to tackle. Ick.  

“C’MON,” he yells. Kids already in the car.

On the road, he says, “I don’t know why you care so much. The only way anyone is going to see the house is if we die while we’re away, and who cares? We’ll be dead!” He smiles.

I stare straight ahead. Still a little unsettled. The student staying with the cats will see it and he knows it. Apparently, she doesn’t count.

After a time, I ask,

“What if we’re just incapacitated?”

Hands on the wheel, he doesn’t miss a beat, “Well, if we’re incapacitated, they should be filled with compassion for us and not judge. Walk a day in our shoes.”

Then he adds, “And if they really want to help, they can clean up a little.”


*Dying order. A term I learned while living in Virginia, meaning the house should look how you would want it to if you died, and people would be going through it to settle your affairs.

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20 Responses to Our Home is Not in Dying Order

  1. *m* says:

    “Dying order” — I love it. I feel the exact same way when we go away for Christmas. We are starting to pack and I think to myself, what are the odds that I am actually going to mop that kitchen floor?

    Wishing you a safe trip and a very merry Christmas!

  2. Carrie Link says:

    Dying order is TFBS.

    And LOL on “just” incapacitated. I read it as “just decapitated.”

  3. KC says:

    OMG! As if I already don’t have enough guilt about my filthy house. Now I have to worry it’s not in dying order??

  4. Amanda says:

    GO HT!! My sentiments exactly. Homes should be clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy.

    A spotless house is a sign of a wasted life. All I’m sayin’…

  5. Amanda says:

    Oh- have a fantastic time away and a safe trip.

    Merry Christmas and a happy new year to one and all. XX

  6. pixiemama says:

    So, just don’t die or become incapacitated (or just decapitated) while you are away? Please?

    Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, safe returns.


  7. Meg says:

    I’m a slight fanatic about leaving a clean house behind when we go away for a trip. My mom was too. It’s just that I hate coming home to a big mess. Enjoy your trip!

  8. Jamie says:

    I sooo try and leave my house like that! It started when I was a kid and I used to think about that with my room – I know I have issues!!

  9. Kim says:

    Oy, my house will never be in dying order! With a kid & husband, 4 cats and a new puppy, it’s been hard to keep up with! (and I’d rather be doing anything else!)

    I do admit to trying to clean up a bit before we leave on a trip-I HATE coming back and having to unpack, get ready to begin real life again, and have to deep clean on top of all of that!

    Have a safe & happy trip!

  10. y says:

    Since I’m up there a bit in age, I think about this every time I open a closet door. My house is so-o-o-o not in dying order,it would probably take a full year of forty hour weeks to get it there, and Hon, that kind of time isn’t popping up anytime soon. I figure I can’t die for a very long time. Heck, I may live forever!

  11. Betty says:

    Don’t worry about it. I agree with HT. When I get tired or overwhelmed, I tell my family to step over the messes or clean it up. I’ll get to get when I get to it. Life is to short to be stressed out over a messy house.

  12. Wanda says:

    I never get everything on my list done before I leave on a trip. Too bad.

  13. Kerry says:

    When I used to travel, I would always wish there was a service that would clean up your disaster after you leave the house, change the sheets, do laundry, clean, etc… as well as getting some basic groceries and have some dinner waiting for me upon return. Perhaps I should make that my job!

  14. My house is never clean, whether I’m leaving to go somewhere or staying home. I have officially given up.

  15. Hope you have a wonderful, safe trip and a most lovely Christmas! (And yeah, totally with you on wiping down the counters before I can leave the house!) xoxo

  16. Kerry,

    Your idea is genious!

  17. Jerri says:

    I have a long-standing arrangement with Mercurious. If something happens to me while I’m out and about, he will go straight to my house and clean my closets before my mother shows up.

    Find a friend you trust and trade promises. Takes all the pressure off.

  18. JoyMama says:

    I think it just shows that you have better things to do with your life besides getting ready to die.

    Have a great holiday!

  19. K Fuller Yuba City says:

    Is it only Mom’s of affected children who worry about leaving our houses in dying order? Is it because of the judgement on our disciplining skills when the Autism was out of control?
    My house is barely in living order.
    Merry Christmas!

  20. amber says:

    Carrie– so did I at first!! LMAO! I thought, wth?? How grim.


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