So, I’m turning 44 next week and to celebrate I am thinking about cutting my hair all off and starting over. I’ve colored it forever and am curious about it’s natural state. I’ve got a chunky grey streak happening on the front hair line (that I’ve been coloring) and I think it might be cool to let it be free.

Riley asks, “Like….Michelle Williams short?”

And I’m all….. “Maaaaaybe.”

We’ll see if I do it, or if I chicken out. I reserve the right to chicken.

Speaking of being a chicken:

Tomorrow I’m speaking at The Western Reserve Writers Conference. Public speaking is not my most favorite thing to do. When I was first starting out in radio, I hated to talk. I got annoyed with DJ’s who just yammered on and on to hear their own voice. If there was an option to throw on a public service announcement, or read one myself, I always used the pre-taped version rather than blather on. But anyway, it was nice to be asked to talk at this conference and I know I’ll be fine once I get there. I’m talking about writing, which is what I love, so why not?

The last time I taught formally was at a community college many years ago, the one I attended in upstate NY. They needed a last minute fill-in to teach a broadcast communications course and I did it for a semester, but I’d made a career change and was already taking pre-requisites to go back to school for nursing and didn’t agree to continue after getting them out of the pinch. I thought my writing days were over. What would have been the point? Ha, ha.

This conference is at a community college here in Ohio. I have an affinity for community colleges. Mine gave me such a good solid start.

I snuck out to a matinee this afternoon (by myself, which I love) and saw Samsara. Holy, Holy, Holy. The entire world in 99 minutes. I can’t even explain it, other than to say everything is interconnected. Everything is impermanent. The world is beautiful and ugly. We have so much and take so much for granted. Such a vast, rich, glorious, complex, world we live in. This gorgeous film makes you more conscious of everything. There were parts so disturbing, I had to turn away. And I feel no shame in that. I talked myself through saying, “You are under no obligation to watch this part.” And I didn’t. I couldn’t. I’m not there yet. Other parts were so beautiful and tender, they made me cry. Did I mention there was not one word uttered throughout the whole film?

I came home more present and more in love with my family and more appreciative of my life and more aware of my world (and less worried about my presentation tomorrow). They’re all so quick, these lives we’re living. Why do we torture ourselves so?

Happy weekend everyone.

Lovingly yours,


This entry was posted in appreciation, Uncategorized, writing. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Samsara

  1. kario says:

    Happy early birthday, my friend. You are a treasure.

  2. Meg says:

    Good luck tomorrow! I’ll be sending good ju-ju your way! Oh, and I think short and natural might be just the ticket for you. It’s only hair!

  3. GB's Mom says:

    I bet you will be awesome!

  4. Glori B. says:

    Yeah! Go natural with that hair. You’re glorious.

  5. Carrie Link says:

    May your birth month be holy and powerful in ways that will be revealed!

  6. Found your blog! It was nice meeting you today. I didn’t know you were a parent of a child with Asperger’s… My oldest son is 15 now and was diagnosed with it at 12… His is pretty mild and he is high functioning, but it is challenging nevertheless. My youngest, Addie also has special needs, we adopted her from China 4 years ago (she’s 6 now), so I guess we have a bit more in common than the writing obsession. I bookmarked the blog and will be back!

  7. Nina says:

    ooooh! Curious about the hair. I have the same gray streak in front (I color it . . . up to every four weeks.) I’ve been coloring since age 20. 🙁 It’s like a part time job, really.

  8. Melinda says:

    You would look lovely with hair like that! Did you like the music? Dead Can Dance (Lisa Gerrard is part of it) has done a lot with the producer for similar movies. They are always amazing! I have a few if you would like to borrow them

  9. Mandi says:

    Grey can be empowering and sexy! I’ll be 40 in two weeks and stopped coloring mine about 5 years ago. Embrace the grey! As to being a chicken: Since it’s hair, it can always grow back and be colored again if you don’t like it!!

  10. Dee Ready says:

    Dear Melissa, I read your paragraph on Samsara without breathing. Being human is heartbreaking and yet unless the heart breaks open how can it be filled anew? Peace.

  11. Michelle O'Neil says:

    Yes, Melinda! The music was amazing.

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