Josie 12/97-4/12

When we first got married, Todd did the rational thing to buy some time and push back the baby lust I was having. He got me a puppy. At the time we were clueless about pet stores and puppy mills and we wandered into a cute little independent pet store to look at the kittens. We saw a cage and upon first glance thought it was full of guinea pigs, but turns out they were tiny puppies. Peek-a-poos.

I held one and looked hopefully at Todd, not truly expecting a puppy that day, but we were newlyweds and he was in love and he was pretty wrapped. Then I handed her over to him, and she nuzzled his cheek and licked him. We walked out with a little white puff of a thing, I think she was two pounds. I named her Josie.

She was my baby. I loved her and I spoiled her.

Of course, Todd spoiled her too (her dark markings turned to pure white later).

When Riley was born, Josie lost some of her charm. Because I had spoiled her, she was very demanding. She didn’t give a rip that a baby had come on the scene. She didn’t bark, she screeched. REEEEEEEEET! REEEEEEEET! She’d look at you and sneeze her displeasure….all day long. She was a brat. But it was my fault, and I loved her, and life went on.

We moved to the Chicago area. Then we moved to Maryland. And she kept up her screeching.

And then Riley started having a really hard time.

And then we had a new baby.

Riley was screaming. Josie was screeching. The baby required what newborns require.

That dog. Every time I looked at her, she reminded me of how much of a failure I was. I could not keep all the balls in the air. Our family was in crises. I could not give everyone what they needed, least of all a 7 pound Peek-a-poo. There were some days she barely got a pat on the head. But she was part of the family. I couldn’t just give her away.

And then Todd’s dad told us about a woman he worked with, who was about to retire. She was looking for a little lap dog to spoil. And I could not not do it. We gave her away. We gave her to Roseanne.

I cried in the car on the way to her house. I cried in the car on the way home. I felt like a failure. A loser. A person who didn’t deserve a dog. But I knew I did the right thing. I knew she would have a good life. I doubted we’d ever have a dog again.

She was seven when we gave her to Roseanne. She made her transition to doggie heaven on Saturday, a few months shy of her 15th birthday.

I am so grateful to Roseanne and her family. My heart could rest easy all these years, knowing Josie was continuing what she came to this earth to do, be spoiled, and be loved.

Rest in peace Josephine, Dustmop, Peek-a-knees, Reeeeta.

We really did love you.

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11 Responses to Josie 12/97-4/12

  1. kario says:

    Oh, I’m so sorry! She knew you loved her and you did what you had to do for yourself and your family.


  2. KFuller says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. She always stayed a part of your heart. We had the same issue with a Cocker Spaniel. He bit the oldest and scratched our daughters retina. When someone said she would take him, we had no choice but to let him go. She kept him and loved him till he went to heaven.

  3. Susan Levy says:

    Sorry for your loss Michelle. It so easy to get attached and so tough when they leave this earth. She knew you love her. Keep her memory always in your heart.

  4. Alexis Yael says:

    So many hugs. I had the same spoiled but otherwise loved (and awesome) dog when I had a baby and it was hard. So hard. You did the right thing.

  5. Amanda says:

    Loosing a loved one is the worst thing ever! Love and hugs to you x

  6. Rose says:

    so sorry – i know how you feel

  7. Carrie Link says:

    Touching post, M O’N, and NECBM of how damn cute baby Riley was!!!!

  8. Dee Ready says:

    Dear Michelle, . . . during all of April I was away from the blogging world, pursuing a dream. Now I return to your blog and find this lovely, touching, tender eulogy to Josie. I believe that dogs and cats and other beloved animal companions do understand that those of us who see pets as part of the family do what we can for them and when we must let them go it is for the best. How wonderful for Josie that she had a second family to love and spoil her.

    And always the memories she planted in your heart and your husband’s will be fresh and new and fill you with the remembrance of love.


  9. Me says:

    Peaceful dreams Josie.

  10. amber says:

    Bless her peeka-soul.


  11. Leah says:

    I’m so sorry Michelle. Your story sounds like mine. Our first “baby” was the puppy we got at a pet store seven years ago. Casey is still like my little puppy. I start crying just thinking of the day she will depart us. My heart is with you!

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