I’m supporting this project.
Because I believe forgiveness is the most important thing we can do on this planet. When we look at another who bothers us and know without a doubt, that if we’d lived their life experiences, we might act the same way they are acting right now, or worse. That’s forgiveness.
It isn’t a pious act. It’s not, “Let me forgive you, lesser person, beneath me. Let me be so magnanimous.”
NO.
Forgiveness does not mean we have to hang out with someone who hurts us or continues to hurt us. It does not mean we have to trust them. It means knowing we aren’t “better” than them.
It isn’t about accepting apologies. Those are nice, but often they don’t come.
For me, sometimes the most petty of so called offenses are the hardest to forgive.
Like, the chick at yoga who was picking her toes and leaving skin on the floor? I’m having a really hard time with her. Somehow, the big ones seem more important, because so much is at stake if you hold on to that big hurt, the big hate. But the little ones will nip you to death.
Forgiveness is a muscle. You have to keep at it. There have been times when I have felt complete forgiveness, and then a new memory will arise, and emotions come up and I have to work on it again. It’s an ongoing process. It’s part of being human. Sometimes I have to forgive myself for not feeling forgiveness.
What would you do if someone dear to you lost their most precious loved ones as a result of a drunk driver? What would you do if you then found out the drunk driver was also someone dear to you? If you are film director Shawne Duperon, and you experienced the above scenario, you make a film about forgiveness.
I think this movie is going to change the world.
I like your clarifications of what forgiveness is and isn’t, and I agree, it can change the world. (BUT WTF with leaving your dead skin on the floor?)
Dear Michelle, . . . thank you for sharing the video about Project Forgive and also for posting what seems to me to be such a wise understanding of forgiveness. Peace.
amen.
thank you.
You’re right. It is the most important thing. It is the cornerstone of compassion, I think. I read somewhere yesterday that “apologies are less about hearing the words ‘I’m sorry’ than making sure someone understands the impact of their actions.” It hit me like a ton of bricks. That’s it. And forgiveness is about understanding the impact of other people’s experiences on their actions as well as your own.
Love.
Very much in agreement with your post and the comments. Holding grudges, feeling superior, refusing to see others as just as worthy as ourselves . . . all of these things eat away at our core and make us bitter and hardened. Forgiveness. Forgive. It’s what matters in the end.
Beautiful post, quite moving.
love, Shawne
Michelle, I really needed to read this tonight. Thank you. And…you forgave me for writing a very shitty comment on one of your entries years ago. Your forgiveness and friendship mean a lot to me. Again, thank you.