Today is the day.
My memoir Daughter of the Drunk at the Bar is out in paperback on Amazon.
Like it’s been for many of the momentous occasions in my life, it feels a bit hollow. Sure, I should be proud. I wrote a book! What many are calling a beautiful book. A book that is changing attitudes about children from troubled families. But in order for my book to be out there, doing its thing, helping anyone, I had to put my parents on the chopping block. And no matter how badly they screwed up. No matter how many times they let me down. No matter how compelled I felt by some inexplicable force to write it and release it, no matter how much they’ve hurt me, it feels unnatural to willfully hurt them. There is a sadness there.
I wish there were a happy ending for my father. I wish he were healed. Unfortunately we who’ve done the co-dependent dance long enough learn you can’t “fix” anyone else. Wishing doesn’t make it happen. The best we can strive for is a healthy life for ourselves. The best we can do is stop the cycle. The best we can do is breathe, hopefully with compassion. And love ourselves even though our compassion sometimes waxes and wanes when situations continually arise.
For every child who ever had to break free in order to save themselves, I wrote this for you. I hope you love little *Janie, as much as I’ve come to love her, and in doing so, I hope you love yourself.
Thank you so much to my blog readers for your support.
I appreciate it more than you’ll ever know.
Love,
Michelle
Amazon link for the paperback.
Smashwords link for the ebook version.
*All of the names have been changed in this book.
Again, truly,
Love.
Congratulations! I am so looking forward to reading it.
Michelle, I ordered your book from Amazon yesterday and will get it in the mail in three to five days. Your posting today has wetted my desire to read your story. You have such reverence for your family.
Thank you for spelling out how we can choose to live. How we can let go of the patterns modeled for us and chose a different path. I so look forward to reading your book and discovering your hard-won wisdom.
For once I’ll actually do my Christmas shopping early. You rock!
I am so proud of you for doing this! Not for writing the book, but for putting yourself out there and making it happen. I, for one, will happily pass on the links to everyone I know.
As for writing about your parents, I know that so many writers (me included) struggle with that. In the end, all you can do is tell the story from your perspective with love and the understanding that our parents are human beings, too (damnit!). If I know you, it was done with compassion and out of a willingness to help others, not skewer your parents.
Congratulations – you did it! I’m so happy for you! xo
Big day, and Kathleen’s 50th birthday, so highly auspicious!
St. Kathleen doesn’t look a day over 30. Happy birthday to her! And thank you Carrie.
Love.
Woo Hoo! I’m off to order. So excited for you!
Love and hugs!!
Seth’s note still making me smile…
Once we have the UK availability sorted I will spread the word 🙂
congrats, michelle! i’m looking forward to reading it!