It Gets Better

This weekend, Windsong, Cleveland’s feminist chorus is getting a wonderful opportunity to perform with The North Coast Men’s Chorus.

They have roughly 125 members. Windsong has about thirty. Rehearsing, we are crammed together so tightly on those risers there is not a speck of space between us. Shoulders pushing against shoulders. The men’s choir is really something. They have a whole dance number lined up to Lady Gaga’s Born This Way and one can only guess what else they have in store. Their director has wonderful energy. Strong but kind. It’s fun having our director hop on into the choir and sing with us during pieces she is not directing.

One of the songs we’re singing is It Gets Better, which is the anthem for The Trevor Project, an initiative to put an end to the tragic suicides of Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender youth around the country.

I’ve got to say, standing there singing with so many gay men and women, just lightly noting and touching what each one has been through, living in a world where so many condemn them for being “different”…I got a big lump in my throat. Out of the corner of my eye I was kind of looking around, wondering….why isn’t everyone just a blubbering mess?” ‘Cause I’m ’bouts to go there.

It gets better.

A good thing to remember no matter who you are. It would have helped me a lot as a child if someone had said it to me, growing up in poverty under the cloud of alcoholism. At the time I couldn’t imagine anything different. I couldn’t wrap my brain around growing up and having my own life. It would have helped me a lot as a parent of a toddler who screamed non-stop. Because I could mostly handle the screaming. The hard part was imagining the screaming lasting for the next 21 years or more. That’s when I despaired.

Yesterday, we were in the car and the rain came down so hard we had to pull over. Traffic lights went out. Tree branches fell. An hour later, we were having dinner. The sun was shining brightly. I said to the kids,

“Remember this day. Every time it feels really dark, every time you have a problem that brings you to a halt…remember the sun always comes after every storm.”

Seth grinned, and holding his fork in the air said, “Literally and metaphorically,” at the same time his sister said, “Great metaphor Mom!”

Metaphors covered? Check.

But truly, I want them to know this.

It gets better when you step out of the problem and into the solution. One solution is The Trevor Project which offers a hot line for GLBT teens considering suicide. One solution is visualising a better life for yourself. One solution is putting the problem aside and taking a walk, giving your brain a rest while focusing on something else. One solution is avoiding negative people who perpetuate your feelings of victim-hood. One solution is surrounding yourself with people who love and support you. One solution is meditation, and prayer of the listening variety. You don’t have to jump from despair to joy immediately. Just take a tiny step in that direction. Do one thing differently, then another. One solution is looking around and making a list of things to appreciate. One solution is to sing…

Hey friend

When you feel like you’re alone

And the world throws out a lot of hate

It’s not the end

You’re not out there on your own

There’s still so much in life to celebrate

Just look up

Cause those skies are going to clear

There so much more than just the here and now

Just look up

Cause a better day is here

Tomorrow feel the sunlight shining down

It gets better, better, better

The pain will let up, let up, let up

If you fall just get up, get up, get up

Oh, cause there’s another way

It gets better, better, better

The world gets lighter, lighter, lighter

So be a fighter, fighter, fighter

Oh, just live to see that day

Yeah, live to see that day

Live to see that day

Hey friend

We used to feel like you

No end in sight

Fearing everyday

Just defend, the part of you that’s true

Find yourself and you will find the way

Don’t give up

Just take another look

And you can shine

It’s time you took the stage

Don’t give up

Cause your life is like a book

All you got to do is turn the page

There are friends yet to meet,

There are songs to be sung

There are beautiful sunsets

And battles are won

There’s love to be found if you just stick around

Don’t give up

Your life has just begun

It gets better, better, better

The pain will let up, let up, let up

If you fall just get up, get up, get up

Oh, cause there’s another way

It gets better, better, better

The world gets lighter, lighter, lighter

So be a fighter, fighter, fighter

Oh, just live to see that day

It gets better, better, better

The pain will let up, let up, let up

If you fall just get up, get up, get up

Oh, cause there’s another way

It gets better, better, better

The world gets lighter, lighter, lighter

So be a fighter, fighter, fighter

Oh, just live to see that day

It gets better, better, better

The world gets lighter, lighter, lighter

So be a fighter, fighter, fighter

Ohh, just live to see that day

It gets better, better, better…